


The lie behind your sunshine ( Klance )

by SpaceTsunami



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), F/F, Gay Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Regret, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Lance (Voltron), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceTsunami/pseuds/SpaceTsunami
Summary: " Lance McClain was one of the best piolets the garrison had ever seen, he was a loved brother, boyfriend, and piolet. He will be missed, and his memory will live on, in all of us. "Lance McClain left suddenly and unexpectedly when he took his own life, nobody noticed his struggle, and nobody noticed his pain. The team hadn't been the same since his death, and without Lance, Voltron was no longer. Keith Kogane has a chance to make everything right and fix their mistakes when his dog Kosmo transports him 3 months into the past, where he has 24 hours to fix him and the rest of the teams, mistakes.( I'm horrible at descriptions ) Disscontinuted





	1. The letter

Dear, Whoever finds this letter  
Hey... I don't really know how to start this off, how do you tell someone how you felt in a form of a simple sentence, a paragraph?  
The truth is you cant, I know this, for I have tried many times to do so. I guess you can tell what this is about,  
Cant you? You'd have to be blind to not to, actually, if you were blind you wouldn't be reading this but whatever.  
There goes Lance being dumb again, I guess I can't even get a suicide note right.  
Anyways, let me get straight to the point, I don't belong up here, actually, I don't belong anywhere.  
You all have your things, Pidge is the genus, Hunk is the cook and an all around good guy.  
Keith is the fighter, he's always prepared for a fight and he knows what he's doing.  
Shiro's the Leader, even if he doesn't physically piolet a lion anymore.  
Allura's the heart of Voltron, she's important to the team, and honestly, I'm not.  
Coran doesn't even piolet a lion and he does more than I do, all I do is make dumb choices that never benefit anyone.  
You guys won't miss me for long, actually, you probably won't at all, none of you did when I died the first time.  
Even if you do, you won't for long, you'll come to find that I'm not something to dwell on.  
The last thing I wanted you all to know is that I love you all so much, that's why I'm doing this, so you'll be happy.  
I know you'll all be happier without me, and deep down you all know it too.  
This is the end, the end for me, but not for you.  
Live,  
that's my dying wish, if you ever had an ounce of respect for me then, please...  
live.  
I will always love you guys, and ill always love you Keith  
goodbye  
Love,  
Lance McClain


	2. Greif

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith breaks down, and Shiro reflects on the past three months.

3 months, that's how long it’s been since they found him, extremely pale, and bleeding onto the white carpet of his and Keith’s shared bedroom. Keith can still remember how his head hung limply off their bed, how his eyes were dull and drained of all their previous life. How he looked so tired, Keith figured he probably was, it hurt him to think about it. It hurt him to think about how he never noticed, never noticed the bags under his boyfriend's eyes, never noticed the forced smiles and lies of ‘im fine’. Keith should’ve noticed the scars, the scars that littered Lance’s forearm, his thighs, his mind. Keith blames himself, he knows he shouldn’t, but he can't help but think that if he tried harder, held him longer, he would’ve been here. Flashing him that big, beautiful smile as he held his arms open, inviting Keith to share his space with him. Keith didn’t notice he was crying, pearly tears of grief and guilt falling from his violet eyes and onto the ground beneath his boots. He felt like he was suffocating, grief consumed him, and suddenly he was on the ground, clutching at his heart and sobbing loudly. He screamed, screamed for the boy with bronze skin and big blue eyes. Screamed for the boy who looked at him like he was the world like he was worth everything.

A figured nealed in front of him, placing their hands onto his shoulders, and hugging him against their broad chest. “ Keith, breathe with me, can you do that?” Shiro asked, breathing in deeply, then out. Keith breathed in, choking out his breath resulting in a loud sob, “ I-I c-can’t h-he's g-gone! “ Keith cried into Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro didn’t tell him it was alright, that everything was going to be okay, because that wasn’t the truth. It hurts to lose a lover, and its hard to move on, some people never do. Shiro didn’t tell him it was okay, all he did was hold his brother close, rubbing his back and being there for him.

Shiro eventually convinced Keith to get into bed, the garrison had provided him after Lance died, it hurt Keith to even look at his old one. Shiro made sure Keith was asleep before he went to go check up on the others after Lance died Shiro made sure to check on everyone before he went to bed. He often found Hunk in the kitchen, crying harshly while violently mixing cake batter. Most nights Shiro stayed up with him, giving him a shoulder to cry on, and some form of comfort. Shiro sighed, rubbing at his eyes slightly, it hurt him to see everyone so sad, Lance really didn’t know how much his death would affect them. It saddened Shiro, Lance was a good kid, and Shiro had cared for him like family. He practically had been, Keith planned on proposing to him before Christmas, but Lance had died before he could. Keith was a wreak, he couldn’t even hear his name if he did he immediately broke down in tears. They all were wreaks, Shiro was lucky to get an hour of sleep at night, and he honestly didn’t know if Pidge slept at all. 

Shiro sometimes wondered if there was a way to travel back in time, so one of them can save Lance. That thought was silly though, that wasn’t possible, right? If it was Coran would’ve said something. Yeah, they couldn’t go back in time, or could they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! But I thought this was a fitting beginning, I will probably update soon.


	3. Fights and apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is gone! * insert crab dance *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I didn't like how the previous version of this chapter came out so I changed it completely! This is probably going to happen a lot.

Keith awoke the next morning with a pounding headache and a sore throat. He was confused as to why he was in bed until he remembers the events that occurred last night, at one point he might've been embarrassed, but not anymore. He honestly doesn't give a flying fuck about how anyone sees him at this point, and everyone knows it. He can't even begin to count how many times one of the others found him hunched over Lance's grave sobbing, having to force him into bed. How many, ' its alright Keith's ' or ' It's okay ' He's heard over the last month, it's honestly a miracle that he's still intact. Keith stares up at the ceiling, not bothering to get up out of bed, what was the point if Lance wasn't here with him? He knew Shiro will be here later to get him to eat, but for now, he just laid there, staring up at the glow stars that lance had put on the ceiling a little after they moved into the room. Keith felt tears swell in his eyes, he was a mess, wasn't he? He couldn't even look at glow stars without breaking down completely. He felt a shift in weight by his foot at his dog Kosmo turned around in circles, getting himself comfortable by Keith's feet. Keith sniffled, Kosmo has been through it all with him, the breakdowns, the emptiness, the sadness. He could tell the dog missed Lance too. Kosmo whined slightly, standing up on the bed and sniffing at the spot Lance used to lay, he looked over to Keith in distress, confused as to why Lance had been gone so long. " H-he's not c-coming back Kosmo. " Keith cried, praying the dog understood. Kosmo whined loudly laying onto the bed and resting his huge head on Keiths stomach. Once the tears started, Keith found he couldn't stop them, all he could do was run his fingers through Kosmo's fur, and cry it out. Eventually, the tears stopped, and Keith was lulled into a restless slumber.

Shiro ran through the halls of the garrison, looking around frantically. " Keith! Where are you! " He yelled, stopping in the board room where Coran sat, his head in his hands. " Coran! " Shiro yelled, gaining the attention of the elder. Coran looked up, to find a worried looking Shiro looking at him, " I'm sorry S-Shiro, I didn't notice you... " Coran stuttered, his eyes were red and puffy like he'd been crying. " Have you seen Keith, I can't find him anywhere. " Shiro asked, walking up to Coran. " I'm afraid I haven't, the last time I saw him he was in his room. " Coran answered. Shiro sighed, " No one has seen him for hours, Coran, I think he's missing. " Shiro said, tears forming in his eyes. Coran stood up and placed a hand on Shiro's shoulder, " Ill request a search party, I'm sure he's around here somewhere. " Coran reassured. " Thank you, Coran " Shiro thanked, turning around and heading back into the hallways. No less then a minute later Shiro heard a frantic voice over the loudspeakers, " Keith Kogane has gone missing, please all garrison cadets search the premise, Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, please head into town, ill join you in a moment, thank you. " Coran spoke. Suddenly students were everywhere, looking for Keith, Shiro thanked Coran in his head, and ran through the halls of the garrison to meet the others by the door.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
" Keith? Keith? wake up", a voice said, shaking Keith slightly. Keith only curled into himself more, hugging Kosmo close to his chest, he didn't care who it was, " Go away, please, I thought I informed everyone to just leave me be, I don't want to talk, and I'm not ready to plan a proper funeral. " Keith angerly said. " Woah, what funeral Keefy, who do you want to kill this time, " The voice chuckled, rubbing his back. Keith's eyes widened, and he sat up faster than the speed of light, there Lance stood, his usually happy features changing into concern as he took in Keith's appearance. " Are you okay honey? You look like shit. " Lance stated, kneeling in front of him. Keith laughed hysterically, " G-great, now I'm hallucinating Kosmo " Keith chuckled, tears falling from his eyes. Lance frowned, " What? Why would you be hallucinating babe? " Lance asked, tilting his head to the side like a dog. Keith looked him in the eyes, " Listen, I-I k-know y-your n-not real, you're dead, I-I s-saw it f-first h-hand, i- " Keith couldn't finish his sentence, tears just spilled over his eyes, and he was sobbing again. Lance froze, " Did you have a nightmare? Do you want a hug? " Lance asked, sitting beside him on the bed. " I-I'm not hugging a hallucination, I know I'm fucked up, but I'm not that fucked up " Keith cried, shakily standing up. Lance stood up too, " Keith? I'm real! I swear! " Lance yelled desperately, trying to grab Keith's hand. " N-No! " Keith yelled, running out of the room, " Shiro! I'm hallucinating! " Keith yelled, running into Shiro's room. Shiro looked up from his book, " What? What are you seeing? " Shiro asked, standing up and walking over to Keith. Keith hugged Shiro tightly, " I-I see L-Lance! " Keith cried into Shiro's shoulder. Lance ran into the room, his heart breaking when he saw the scene in front of him, " Keith, Lance is real, " Shiro tried but Keith just screamed, jerking away from Shiro and covering his ears. " S-SHIRO! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! YOU KNOW HOW BAD ITS BEEN! AND YOU PULL THIS! " Keith yelled. Suddenly arms pulled him back, as he landed into someone's chest, " Let me go! Please! Let me mourn " Keith yelled, kicking his legs. " No, because I'm not dead Keith " Lance whispered, turning Keith around in his arms so he can look at him in the eyes. Keith peaked his eyes open, as he was met with the beautiful blue orbs he had come to love over the years. " L-Lance? I-Is it R-really you? "Keith cried, hugging him tightly, not noticing the door open behind them. Lance looked behind him then froze, " What the fuck? " The voice said. Keith looked up to see himself, he was confused for a moment before he realized, he pushed Lance off him and ran to the other Keith. " I need to talk to you, please. " Keith said, grabbing the other Keiths hand and pulling him out of the room. Lance and Shiro looked at each other in confusion, " What the fuck is happening? " Lance asked, looking at Shiro. " I think I know, " Shiro said, " And it has something to do with you dying. " Shiro finished. Lance froze, " H-how would I d-die, " Lance asked, pulling his sleeves down. Shiro noticed this, " Lance what are you hiding? " Shiro asked, looking Lance in the eye.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter is in past Keith's point of view.

Keith was in shock, " Who are you, why do you look like me?!?! " Keith questioned, breaking out of the other Keiths grasp. " That's not important! " The other Keith yelled, a pleading look on his features. " No, I refuse to listen to you until you tell me who you are, and why you're here. " Keith stated, crossing his arms. The other Keith sighed, " I don't exactly know myself, I'm you, but I'm not you, I was asleep clutching Kosmo one moment, then when I woke up... " the other Keith went silent, his lip trembling slightly. Keith sighed, " Look, I cannot trust you, especially since you were clinging onto my boyfriend. " Keith replied, glaring at the other Keith. The other Keith looked panicked, " T-Then d-don't trust me, but please... " the other Keith cried, clutching at his heart, " p-please listen to me. " He asked, looking up at Keith with tears in his violet eyes. " Why should I? You're obviously lying, you're not me, that's not possible. " Keith argued, walking towards the other Keith. " If you don't Lance will die! " Keith screamed, sobbing loudly. Keith was stunned, a dangerous look in his eyes, " Are you threatening me? " He asked, pulling out his Galra blade. The other Keith shook his head, looking extremely offended that Keith would even think he would kill Lance. Keith tried activating his Galra blade but was surprised to find it wasn't responding. " What the fuck! Why is it not working, " Keith asked, looking at the blade than to the other Keith like he'd know why? " You can't hurt yourself with you're own mamoran blade. " the other Keith responded. " T-that means...? " Keith started but was cut off by himself, " I am you " Keith answered, taking out his own blade. " H-How? " Keith asked, looking himself in the eyes, " As I said, I don't know, all I know is that this is my chance to make things right, so please, listen to me. " The other Keith responded. " Fine, but not here, let's go to my- our room, " Keith stated, turning around and heading down the hall. " W-wait! Uh, maybe not there, please... " the other Keith asked, grabbing his, well Keith's wrist. " Why? " Keith asked, turning around to look at him, " It's already going t-to be hard enough to tell you this, " the other Keith said with sadness. Keith just nodded, letting himself lead him into the dining room where they both took a seat. They both sat down and the other Keith took a note out of, what Keith just now realized, to be Lance's jacket. " T-this is a suicide n-note..." Keith stated as he took the note from The other Keith. The other Keith only nodded, looking away as Keith opened it, " L-Lance's handwriting...? " Keith said to himself as he opened the letter. He shakily read through it, " T- This has to be a joke, a cruel joke, Lance would never do this... " Keith said to the other Keith, who was crying. " T-That's what we thought, until... " The other Keith choked up, sobbing loudly, " until we f-found h-him... " the other Keith cried. Keith looked at him in disbelief, " W-what day did he die?!? " Keith asked the other Keith, " June 15, 2018 " He responded, crying loudly. Keith froze, standing up quickly, " T-That's t-today! " He yelled, the other Keith looked up frantically, " What! " The other Keith responded, standing up quickly. " We need to find him! " Keith said, running into the hallways, past Keith behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! This is a really short update I know, and I usually update longer chapters, but with the story, I feel shorter chapters are best, it adds to the suspense.


	5. A/N

Hey, so I know it's been awhile since iv'e updated this story. The truth is I've kinda fallen out of the Voltron fandom, which is something I never thought would happen. I'm just not inspired to continue to write this story, and I don't want to just give you guys a half hearted chapter that is bland because my whole heart wasn't in it. I'm not discontinuing this story, because I really do want to finish it. But right now I need time to get back into Klance a little more, so I can give you a actually good ending to this story. I hope you understand :)

 

 

~ SpaceTsunami

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you for reading my crappy writing! This is only the beginning, and I honestly don't know how consistent my uploading will be. Anyways, this is only the beginning, and I hope you stick around till the end.


End file.
